Living in the Shadows Read online

‘Duw, I’m glad that’s over.’ Richard hooked his finger into his jacket-loop and slung it over his shoulder. He held out his other hand. ‘You cool?’

  ‘Yep.’ Karen jumped down from the low wall.

  ‘Did I tell you how fab you look today?’ She’d matched her purple mini-dress with zig-zag patterned purple tights. A silver chain belt hung loosely from her hips. Richard raised her arm and twirled her around. ‘Absolutely fab … u … lous.’

  ‘Like it?’ She giggled, falling against him. ‘Thought we might have something to celebrate?’

  ‘No. Not yet.’ He kissed her the tip of her nose. ‘They said they’d let me know.’ He’d been more nervous than the first time, taking care to face each questioner, make sure he could see what they were saying, watching their expressions. He’d always been good at telling what people thought from their eyes. But today he hadn’t been able to fathom any of the board out. They’d been impassive.

  She lifted her mouth to his. Her breath smelt of peppermints. ‘How did it go? Was it the same panel that interviewed you the first time?’

  ‘No.’ Richard pressed his lips on hers, savouring the taste. ‘Had a good interview, though. Fingers crossed.’

  ‘Everything crossed.’ Karen demonstrated this by crossing her eyes.

  ‘Idiot.’ He grinned. ‘If the wind changes, you’ll stay like that. Mum always says that to Vicky when she’s sulking.’

  ‘Does your sister sulk a lot then?’

  ‘All the time. She can be a right pain but she’s cool mostly. And funny.’

  ‘Then I’ll like her.’ She ran off, swinging her white shoulder bag and then turned and ran backwards, watching him and giggling.

  ‘Be careful,’ he called, ‘you’ll fall.’ He chased after her and she turned again, slowing to a trot.

  When he caught up with her, he held her to him. ‘I can’t believe we only met a week ago,’ he said, kissing her neck.

  ‘I know. I feel like I’ve known you all my life.’ She tilted her face, looking at him. ‘So, what shall we do this afternoon?’

  ‘Haven’t you got college?’

  ‘No. Monday afternoon next.’

  ‘Okay.’ Richard loosened his tie and took it off. ‘Need to get out of these threads before I do anything else. Then, if it’s okay with you, I have to go and see someone for ten minutes. It’s her birthday.’

  ‘Her?’ Karen huffed and pouted. ‘Her?’

  ‘Think she’s about eighty.’ He grinned. ‘Ancient anyway.’ He looked up as a bus trundled past. ‘That’s ours.’ He grabbed her hand again. ‘Come on.’

  ‘So, spill the beans.’ Karen hauled herself up the stairs of the double-decker bus and flopped down on the front seat. ‘Whose birthday is it?’

  Richard sat alongside her, folding his jacket over his arm. ‘Never mind that for a minute.’ He twisted in the seat and faced her, studying her face. ‘You would tell me if you’d had any trouble from your stepfather because of that lad who saw us, wouldn’t you?’

  ‘Yes, ’course I would. Stop worrying, there’s nothing George can do to me. To us. He’s just a weird old git who thinks he’s some sort of tough guy. I told you yesterday I haven’t seen him at all this week. I’ve been in college. I don’t want to think about him, Richard,’ she wheedled. ‘Tell me again about the old lady.’

  ‘It’s a bit complicated.’ Richard leaned back, linking his fingers behind his head. ‘First of all, she’s been a friend of Mum’s for a long time, and Mum and Dad gave me a present to give to her for her birthday. But…’ How to explain? He didn’t understand half of what he’d always taken for granted. ‘You know Uncle Ted and Auntie Ellen?’

  ‘Where you’re staying? The uncle I met?’

  ‘Yeah. Well Linda is their daughter. My cousin…’ Richard looked out at the road in front of them, the bus was stuck in a long line of traffic. ‘We’d have been faster walking.’

  ‘Don’t be daft. Go on.’

  ‘Well, Linda isn’t really Uncle Ted’s. Her mum had her before they were married.’

  ‘And she kept her? Brave,’ Karen murmured. ‘She was brave to keep her in those days.’

  Richard was embarrassed. ‘Perhaps. Yeah, probably. Anyway Mrs Shuttleworth, the lady whose birthday it is, is the mother of the man Auntie Ellen had a fling with. Linda is her granddaughter. That’s about it. Like I said, complicated.’

  ‘Not really. Is she nice? Mrs Shuttleworth?’

  ‘As far as I remember. I haven’t seen her much. But Linda likes her. And Mum likes her. So she must be all right, I s’pose. Look, I have to call at Uncle Ted’s, ring home to let my parents know how the interview went, and pick up the present and get changed. Is that okay? We can go to the pictures later if you like?’

  ‘It’s cool with me.’ Karen kissed him.

  Chapter 29: Linda Booth

  Ashford: Friday, September 26th

  ‘Hi, Linda. This is Karen.’ Richard was smiling but felt the flush of heat in his face. He couldn’t understand why he was self-conscious in front of his cousin but he was. ‘Is it okay if she comes with us to Mrs Shuttleworth’s? We’re going on to the flicks after.’

  Linda was reading. ‘Hi, Karen. Course it is. Gran loves visitors.’ She glanced up and then back to her book. Then she looked again, staring at the girl standing next to her cousin, her smile frozen on her face. George Worth’s … Shuttleworth’s daughter. She closed her book. ‘We’ve met, haven’t we?’ She forced the words out. How the hell could this happen? Nothing had, could have, prepared her for this. She put her book on the arm of the chair and shifted forward onto the edge of the seat. ‘You’re the daughter, aren’t you?’ she said. ‘You’re Harriet Worth’s daughter?’

  ‘Yes.’ Karen response was wary, the smile strained.

  There was something in her eyes that Linda couldn’t make out. A plea? For what?

  As though sensing the tension between the girls Richard touched Karen’s hand. She gripped his fingers.

  ‘Hey, what am I missing, here? Linda? Karen?’ His stare switched from one to the other.

  ‘Nothing,’ Linda said, brightly.

  ‘You two know one another, then?’

  Never one to beat around the bush, Linda thought. ‘Karen’s mother’s one of my mums at the moment. She’s had a little boy.’ How had she made her voice so jolly? ‘Actually, a big bouncing boy.’

  ‘Gosh, of course, you work in Maternity, don’t you?’ He pulled Karen to him. ‘Coincidence, eh?’

  ‘Coincidence.’ Linda said, hoping her laugh didn’t sound as artificial as it felt.

  ‘Auntie and Uncle not around?’

  ‘No. Dad’s at the bakery and Mum’s gone shopping for new shoes. Tea?’ She attempted to get up from the chair but she was trembling. She willed it to stop.

  ‘I’ll make it,’ Richard said. ‘After all, I’m a modern man.’

  Both smiled, smiles that faded once he’d left the room. Karen seemed rooted to the spot. She adjusted the strap of her shoulder bag, not quite meeting Linda’s eyes.

  ‘Sit down,’ Linda said. It wasn’t the girl’s fault her father was a bastard. What he’d done to her was years before she was even born. And yet, by her being here, in their house … their home, made Linda feel sick. She gulped. ‘I’m sorry, I need to…’ She lurched out of the chair, almost fell. Karen caught her by the arm.

  ‘Steady. You all right?’

  Linda shook her off; even the touch of her fingers made her skin crawl. ‘Get off.’

  Karen stepped back. She looked frightened. ‘Sorry.’

  Linda saw the fear. ‘No, I’m sorry.’ She pressed her lips together, waiting for the swirling sickness to settle. ‘I think I’m okay now.’ She counted three deep breaths: in through the nose, out of the mouth. Something she’d learned long ago to stop the panic after the nightmares. She let Karen help her back into the chair. They stared at one another in silence.

  In the kitchen Richard was whistling. He suddenly burst out into song:
‘Parsley, Sage, Rosemary and Thyme.’ There was the sound of cupboard doors opening and closing. ‘She’ll be a true love of mine.’

  ‘He’s happy,’ Linda said. She hoped he would stay that way. ‘Does Richard know what he’s like…’ she couldn’t say his name. ‘Your father?’

  ‘I’m sorry about my stepfather.’ Karen flushed. ‘You know, at the hospital. The way he—’

  They’d both spoken at the same time.

  ‘Your stepfather? He’s not your dad then?’ Linda was shocked by the relief she felt; she knew how much Richard liked this girl. Her not being his real daughter made it easier somehow.

  ‘No, I’m glad to say.’ This time she looked straight at Linda. ‘He’s horrible. A bully.’

  ‘Well I won’t disagree there.’ Linda was calmer now. ‘How long have your mum and him been married?’

  ‘Dad died when I was ten.’ Karen said. ‘George worked for him. Then, before I knew, it he was always around the house. They married…’ she stopped to think, ‘about five years ago. I can’t believe how much Mum dotes on him.’

  ‘Or is afraid of him?’

  ‘Yes.’

  ‘Are you frightened of him?’ It was like prodding a tooth that ached.’ Linda couldn’t help it. She watched Karen closely.

  ‘Yes.’

  ‘Does Richard know what he’s like?’ It was important; somehow she had to warn him, make sure he was on his guard. Understood what the man was capable of. Understood who he was. But was it up to her to do that? Ted – her dad, she corrected herself – and her mother hadn’t said she had to keep it secret. But when they’d finished telling her everything it was almost an implicit understanding between them that she would. So all she could do was to find out if Richard realised the man was dangerous. ‘Does he?’

  ‘A bit. I’ve told him some things. But they haven’t met. I don’t want them to.’

  ‘That’ll be difficult.’ Linda crossed her arms. ‘If you carry on going out together, I mean.’

  ‘Perhaps.’ Karen sounded wary and still hadn’t sat down, holding her bag in front of her as though for protection.

  She’s just a kid, Linda thought, she hasn’t a clue what that man did. Any more than Richard knew what his father had done. Gooseflesh rose on her arms. Oh hell, it was all such a mess. She wished Ted and her mum were here. No, just her dad; he’d know what to do, what to say. She glanced at the clock; he’d be at the bakery for at least another four hours. She was on her own with this.

  ‘Nearly ready, isn’t it,’ Richard shouted from the kitchen. ‘Couldn’t find the sugar.’

  ‘I don’t take sugar,’ Linda spoke automatically. Unease rested just below her ribs. ‘Nor me,’ Karen said.

  ‘No, but I do.’ There was a tinkle of spoon in cups. He was singing again. ‘Silence like a cancer grows…’ He appeared balancing three cups and saucers on a tray, a tea towel over his shoulder. ‘The singing waiter,’ he announced, ‘Mamas and Papas: “people hearing without listening…”’ He took one cup off the tray and presenting it to Linda in an extravagant manner before straightening up. He looked at them. ‘What’s wrong?’

  ‘Nothing,’ they both said.

  ‘Okay,’ he said, drawing the word out.

  It was plain to Linda that he didn’t believe them, so she gave a small laugh. ‘I was just saying you had a dreadful singing voice and Karen was sticking up for you.’

  ‘Oh.’ He grinned. ‘I’ll have you know I’m auditioning to be a member of the Beatles, cousin dearest.’ He passed a cup to Karen and winked at her. ‘Before we go, Lin, do you think Uncle Ted’d mind if I just ring home?’

  ‘Don’t be daft, ’course not.’ Linda put her cup on the coffee table. ‘Let me just get my shoes first, then you can have some privacy.’ She went into the hall. ‘We’ll have our tea and then we really should be going.’

  Reaching up to take her jacket from the stand she stopped, holding on to it. How was she going to tell Gran who Karen was?

  Chapter 30: Linda Booth

  Ashford: Friday, September 26th

  If anybody else felt the awkwardness Linda couldn’t tell. And why would they, she asked herself, forcing a smile as she watched Nelly open the present Richard gave her. None of them knew what she knew.

  Nelly held up the blue bed-shawl. ‘Ee, in’t that lovely, pet? Look, Linda, what Mary sent. It’s crocheted – in’t it?’ She dropped the shawl into her lap and waved Richard closer so she could hold his face between her hands, giving him a loud kiss. ‘You pass that on to your mam.’ She formed exaggerated lips around each word as though not sure he would hear.

  Richard coloured. Linda wasn’t sure if it was through annoyance or discomfort but was reassured when he smiled at Nelly.

  ‘Now.’ Her gran settled herself back in the armchair. ‘Karen, I hear you rescued our Richard then? That’s how you two got together? Are you local like? Where do you live?’

  ‘Gran!’ Both Richard and Linda spoke together.

  ‘You’ll frighten her off,’ Richard laughed.

  Nelly pushed at her teeth with her thumb. ‘Sorry.’ She made a sucking noise. ‘I swear these bloody things are getting looser?’ She worked her chin up and down. ‘I only asked if she was local.’

  ‘It’s okay.’ Karen looked a little bemused and flustered but answered with a smile. ‘I live over in Mossbridge.’

  ‘Still in school?’

  ‘No, college. I’m training to be a hairdresser.’

  I’ll have to stop this, Linda thought. She stood. ‘Tea, anyone?’

  Nelly jumped. ‘Hey up, pet, you nearly frightened the life out of me, getting up so quick. Where’s the fire? We can have tea and that cake you brought in a minute. Sit down.’ She gave a short laugh which finished in a rheumy cough. ‘Sorry,’ she said again, when she finally stopped.

  Richard gave Linda a worried look. She closed her eyes, willing him to understand. Go now, she urged silently. Go now.

  She could tell he was puzzled but still he said, ‘Actually, we need to leave now.’

  ‘You’ve not been ’ere five minutes, pet. And you’ve neither of you ’ad yer cake.’

  ‘I know. I’m sorry. We’ve arranged to go … to go out, somewhere.’ He added hastily: ‘I’ll call again before I go home. Promise.’

  ‘When’s that?’

  ‘When I go home?’

  Nelly nodded.

  ‘As soon as I can book a ticket.’

  Linda saw him exchange looks with Karen. She looked surprised; evidently he hadn’t told her. ‘I need to get back. See if there’s any news about Vicky.’

  ‘She’s a right one an’ that’s no mistake.’ Nelly pushed herself out of her chair. ‘Yer mam must be worried out of ’er skin.’

  ‘I’m sure Vicky’s fine wherever she is.’ Linda was more worried about her aunt. There’d been something not right in her voice when she’d spoken to her last night. And when she’d asked to have a word with Uncle Peter her aunt said he was out on a call, which was odd; since last year his partners had taken on the out-of-hours calls. And earlier Richard had told her his father wasn’t there again. Linda didn’t believe her uncle would go out, knowing they must be waiting to hear how Richard’s interview had gone.

  Chapter 31: Nelly Shuttleworth & Linda Booth

  Ashford: Friday, September 26th

  ‘Don’t fuss, pet, I’m tons better than I was.’ Nelly unpegged the last of the washing and dropped a large pair of bloomers into the wash-basket. She pushed the clothes-prop under the line, raising it up out of the way. ‘Just a cough.’

  Despite her words Linda thought she didn’t look at all well. ‘I can do a bit of cleaning for you now I’m here,’ she offered.

  Nelly swatted away her words with a flap of her hand. ‘Good God no, pet. You’re working tonight, aren’t you?’

  ‘No, I’ve got a couple of days off and then I’m on days.’

  ‘That’s nice.’ Nelly reached inside her blouse and pulled at her bra strap. ‘I�
�ll be glad to get this off tonight. I don’t know why I wear it anyway; nowt’ll stop these buggers from going south.’ Breathing heavily she laboured up the doorstep and into the kitchen and flopped down on a chair at the table. ‘Shame our Richard had to go so soon. Still, that’s youngsters for you. Always on the go for the next thing.’

  Linda smiled, wryly. She clearly wasn’t classed as a youngster any-more in her gran’s eyes. ‘S’pose. Think they said they were going to the pictures in Manchester. They’ll be making the most of it while they can – if he’s going home.’

  ‘He looked well, don’t you think? To say he’s been under the knife again…’

  Linda winced at the image her gran’s words conjured up. ‘It was only a small operation, Gran.’

  ‘Stopped him coming up here when he should have.’

  ‘You’re right. Still, he’s through it now – he just has to wait to see if he’s been accepted.’

  ‘Aye. Make that brew, will you, pet?’ Nelly cleared her throat. Linda waited. But when her gran spoke it wasn’t what she expected. ‘And while you’re at it you can tell me what you decided to do about Martin.’

  Martin wasn’t what Linda wanted to talk about. But, there again, nor was she keen to talk about George Worth – Shuttleworth, she corrected herself. Even worse, she needed to tell Nelly who Karen was.

  She filled the kettle and turned the switch until the pilot light lit the gas ring with a whoosh. ‘I haven’t decided, Gran.’ Leaning against the sink, Linda fiddled with the buttons on her cardigan. It wasn’t worrying about her boyfriend that had caused her to lose sleep. ‘I do feel bad about it, Gran, but I don’t know what to say to him.’ Even as she spoke her thoughts weren’t on Martin.

  ‘How about a flat no? He might get the message then.’

  ‘It’s difficult.’

  ‘How, pet?’ Her gran lifted her bushy grey eyebrows.

  Linda shrugged and changed the subject. ‘I’m thinking, if Victoria doesn’t turn up, I’ll go down to Auntie Mary’s after next week. I’ve got some holidays left.’ She glanced up and caught sight of herself in the fly-blown mirror above the fireplace. She looked tired.