Living in the Shadows Page 16

Victoria listened in disbelief, unable to keep the shock hidden when he lifted her chin for her to look at him.

  He smiled.

  Uncomfortable, she rubbed at her upper arms and glanced down towards the girl next to her. She was staring back. For a few seconds Victoria thought to leave. To walk out. She must have made some movement because there was a slight tug on the back of her skirt, stopping her. The two Elders stood in front of the door. It was then that Victoria realised the meeting had been held for her. She was trapped. And, for the first time in her life, frightened.

  Seth gave a small murmur of satisfaction and moved away to sit back on the chair. All around her people stood up. Others threw themselves forward on the floor in front of him, weeping and crying out to be saved. Saved from what, she’d thought? By who? Seth? She didn’t know how long she stood there but it was long enough for her to stop being scared and to become angry. And long enough for her to decide she wouldn’t be going to another of Seth’s so-called sermons.

  In the middle of the night he’d slipped into her narrow bed. Naked. Pulling at her baby-doll pyjamas he’d whispered, ‘Come on, then, shove up.’

  Victoria moved to the edge without speaking. The anger bubbled in her again.

  ‘Still sulking?’ he laughed, softly. ‘You should’ve seen your face.’

  When she didn’t answer he slid his hand under her top, slowly moved his palm over her nipple. She arched her back, unable to stop the instinctive tightening between her thighs.

  ‘See, you’re not really cross with me.’ He laughed again.

  Cross? Victoria thought, twisting towards him, trying to see his face in the darkness and failing. ‘What the hell was all that, this morning?’ she said.

  Without speaking he eased her out of her pyjamas, ran his fingers along her stomach. She caught her breath.

  ‘You didn’t believe all that, did you?’ he murmured, his tongue tracing the inside of her ear. ‘It’s what they wanted.’

  ‘What they wanted? Come off it.’ Incredulous, Victoria pushed him away. ‘That was just weird.’ The tears smarted. ‘And you were cruel. You just wanted to make me look stupid.’

  ‘You have to learn to fit in. Some of the others don’t think you’re pulling your weight. I had to do it.’ All the time he was sliding his fingers inside her.’ I want you to stay. You’re special to me. I need you by my side. I need you with me.’

  Victoria’s breath was shallow. She knew she was giving in to him. ‘I thought we would be together.’ She spoke in a small voice.

  ‘And we will be.’ He moved even closer, whispering. ‘This lot, they chose to call me the Master. I just play the game. You and me – well, we’re different, aren’t we. We know the score. There are a few of the others…’ She stiffened, he must have felt it. ‘But not like us, huh? You and me, we’re special. Right?’

  He slid on top of her, entered her.

  After he’d left her bed Victoria hugged herself. She knew he was right. They were special. Sod the rest of them. She was Seth’s girlfriend. Woman, she corrected herself. So what if she wasn’t accepted into the group? She’d been on the outside all her life. But she’d make sure some of them liked her. She’d play the game as well.

  She refused to listen to the small voice that reminded her she’d left home to find somewhere where she truly belonged. And the reality of it was, it wasn’t here.

  Chapter 39: William Booth

  Ashford, evening: Sunday, September 28th

  ‘Think that’s the lot, sweetheart.’ William swung Tim up into his arms and gathered him into a hug with Susan. ‘I’ll be back around seven to put this young man to bed and get settled in.’

  He stopped, seeing the apprehensive expression on her face and put the little boy down. They watched him climb onto the settee with two of his lead soldiers, tapping them on the cushions in a make-believe march.

  ‘You are sure about this, Susan? I mean, it’s not too late to go back to how we were.’

  ‘No, it’s absolutely fine.’

  He tipped his head to one side. ‘Fine?’ he questioned, grinning.

  ‘Okay, wonderful then. I’ve written to Charlie at his mother’s and told him it’s over for good. I’ve been telling him for the last twelve months, he just wouldn’t listen. At least he’s not been near the house this leave, not even to see…’ she motioned her head towards her son. ‘So perhaps he’s finally got the message after—’

  ‘He got handy with his fists. I remember.’ William clenched his own at the memory. ‘You should have sent for me. Let me come round. I mean, he’d have got the message quicker then.’

  ‘I don’t want him, you, either of you, hurt. You know I don’t like violence around Tim.’

  ‘Yes, of course. Sorry, sweetheart. It just makes me mad.’

  ‘I know. Now,’ Susan gave him a wide smile and picked up her son, ‘you’d better go home and break the news to your mum and dad.’

  ‘You mean go to Henshaw Street and tell them.’ William grinned again. ‘This is my home now, isn’t it, young man?’ He tickled Tim. The little boy squealed and leant away from his mother to give William a tight hug around his neck.

  ‘Good grief, that’s a squeeze and a half you’ve got there, little un,’ William laughed. His face grew serious as he turned to Susan. ‘I’ll be back in an hour.’

  ‘Good luck.’

  ‘I don’t need luck. I’m my own man, haven’t you learned that yet?’ He put his thumb up to Tim. ‘See you soon.’

  ‘Soon.’ The little boy put both thumbs up.

  Outside William sat astride his bike and looked at the small terrace where his future lay. He wouldn’t let any harm come to the woman and child who lived there. His jaw tensed at the memory of the battering she’d taken. The only time he felt he’d let them down.

  Chapter 40: Nelly Shuttleworth

  Ashford, afternoon: Sunday, September 28th

  ‘Why are you ’ere?’ Nelly settled back in the armchair and took a bite of the bacon butty she’d just made. A blob of tomato sauce, squashed out from between the two slices of bread, dropped onto her thumb and finger. She sucked at it. She was on her own territory and had no need to feel less than the woman sitting at the table in front of her. That’s not to say it hadn’t been a shock, five minutes earlier, to see Ellen Booth standing on her doorstep. And she could tell from the way the woman looked – as if she had a bad smell under her nose – that she was judging her and her house. As if she had any right.

  ‘Linda’s taken a week’s holiday and caught a train to Wales with Richard.’

  ‘She said she might.’

  ‘I thought Martin might go with her but when I asked if he was she didn’t answer. Something’s happened between them, I think.’ She stopped as though Nelly might enlighten her but after a moment added, ‘I don’t know what’s happened about Martin …’

  Nelly clamped her mouth closed, wiggling her teeth with her tongue to get a bit of bacon from under them. She’d only just managed to put them in when the doorbell rang and they were rubbing her gums. But she was damned if she’d take them out in front of this snooty bitch.

  ‘Something has.’ Ellen paused.

  ‘Has what?’ Nelly was careful how she spoke, for some reason she‘d always tried to speak proper in front of this woman. She’d long since stopped hating her. Now she just disliked her intensely and hoped she wouldn’t have to see her too often.

  ‘Happened between Linda and Martin.’

  Nelly jerked her shoulders. ‘Is that why you’re here? I know nowt … nothing about that.’ What she did know, she sure as hell wasn’t going to tell Linda’s mother; a confidence was a confidence. She nodded, agreeing with herself.

  ‘No, of course not. Why should you?’ Ellen unbuttoned her turquoise jacket and shook the lapels open to show a pristine white blouse. She looked rattled; Nelly pressed her lips together to stop the grin, yet dreading what Ellen was going to say. ‘No, I’m here because of…’

  The hiatus
between them lengthened, only the low tick of the clock on the mantelpiece and Nelly’s rasping breathing broke into the silence.

  ‘You know, I suppose?’ Ellen blurted the words out.

  ‘Know what?’

  ‘Oh, for God’s sake. About your son?’

  ‘Oh, that.’ Nelly wouldn’t let her know how that word made her heart race. ‘I know. Yes.’

  ‘Linda said last night she’d told you about—’

  ‘George? Yes, she did.’ Even saying his name made Nelly nauseous; years ago she could have handled this but now…

  ‘It was a shock when Ted told me, I can tell you that.’ Ellen pulled at the cuffs of her jacket, wafted her hair back from her face with a toss of her head. ‘Until this last week I didn’t even know Linda’d been having trouble at work.’

  No, you wouldn’t. Nelly thought, studying her, ignoring the fact that Linda had only told her just before telling her mother.

  Ellen was pronouncing her words so precisely Nelly wondered if she’d already been drinking, even though it was only early afternoon. ‘And about this girl Richard’s met?’

  ‘Yes?’ Nelly wasn’t going to help.

  ‘She’s his stepdaughter, I believe.’ Ellen shivered. ‘I felt sick when we found out who she was. We don’t know what to do except hope Richard forgets her once he’s home.’

  ‘I think that’s a lost hope. He’ll be coming back to Ashford, or at least, Manchester, if he gets that job at the hospital.’

  ‘What can we do?’

  What did she mean, we? ‘Nowt. Nothing we can do.’ Nelly felt a wave of worry. ‘Has anybody told Mary?’ She sucked on her teeth. How was poor Mary going to deal with all this?

  ‘Well, no. We can’t at the moment. Obviously.’

  ‘What d’you mean … obviously? Why can’t she be told?’ She saw from the almost triumphant look on the woman’s face that Ellen knew something she didn’t.

  ‘With Peter having his heart attack last week.’

  Oh, Lord. Nelly’s skin tingled with shock. ‘I didn’t know,’ she said, slowly.

  ‘I wanted to go to see her but Ted and Linda thought I shouldn’t. Not yet anyway.’

  Quite right, Nelly thought – selfish mare. The last thing Mary needs is this one blubbering all over the place and making it all about her.

  ‘And anyway, I thought it better that I come to see what you intended to do.’

  ‘I don’t intendto do anything.’ Nelly’s thoughts were still on Mary. She wondered how she could get hold of her, speak to her. She’d never held with having one of them telephones in the house but now she regretted it.

  The back gate opened and closed with the familiar squeaking of the hinges and then a tap on the back door, which was slightly open.

  ‘Mrs Shuttleworth? It’s Jackie. Are you there?’

  ‘Come in, pet.’

  Jackie was clearly surprised by Ellen’s presence. The young woman who followed her in had her hand on Jackie’s shoulder. Must be her friend, Nelly thought: the one Linda had told her about. ‘Nicki, is it, pet?’ She was enjoying Ellen’s discomfort; she could tell Linda’s mam didn’t know what to make of the girl in her big boots and dungarees.

  ‘Yes.’ The girl smiled, holding out her hand to Nelly. Her grasp was warm and firm. ‘I’ve heard a lot about you, Mrs Shuttleworth.’

  ‘All bad, I ’ope.’ Nelly chuckled.

  ‘We popped in to say we just called at your house, Auntie Ellen, to make sure Linda and Richard had got off all right.’ Jackie glanced from one to the other of the two women. ‘Uncle Ted told me you were here, Auntie. I was a bit surprised.’

  Ellen looked discomfitted.

  ‘’Ow’s Peter?’ Nelly asked.

  ‘Uncle Ted said you might let slip about Uncle Peter’s heart attack.’ Jackie glanced at Ellen.

  Let slip my backside, Nelly thought; the woman gloried in telling me.

  Ellen bristled. ‘How was I to know it was supposed to be a secret?’

  ‘Anyway he’s fine, Mrs Shuttleworth. Uncle Ted’s spoken to Auntie Mary and she said he was recovering brilliantly.’ She looked at Nelly. ‘She says she’ll write and let you know but, if Richard gets the placement at the hospital, they’ll be coming here anyway and she’ll see you then. She said she’ll ring you, Auntie Ellen.’

  Ellen moved her head acknowledging Jackie, but didn’t take her eyes off Nicki.

  ‘Well, that’s all really. We’re just on our way out.’ Jackie gave Nelly a hug. ‘Linda asked me to keep an eye on you while she’s away, Mrs Shuttleworth. She says you have to behave yourself and take your tablets. So I’ll… We’ll call in tomorrow.’

  Nelly had seen Jackie noticing Ellen’s gawping. She grinned as Jackie took hold of Nicki’s hand as they left.

  ‘Well,’ Ellen said, ‘Well. How extraordinary. What an odd way for a young woman to dress. And that hair. She might as well have been a bloke, it’s that short.’ She stood, fastening the buttons on her jacket and smoothing down her pencil skirt. Taking a long breath she stared down at Nelly who couldn’t stop the grin.

  ‘You’ll let me know if anything… If he turns up?’ Ellen’s lip was quivering.

  The worry was instantly back. Nelly frowned. For once she felt sorry for the woman. ‘I’ll let you know, Mrs. Booth. But I wouldn’t fret. I doubt he’ll come here. I doubt you’ll get any hassle off him. From the sound of things…from what your Linda said, he’s got a new life now, as well as a new name. He won’t want to be found any more than we want anything to do with him.’

  Ellen lowered her head. ‘I hope you’re right!’ Her mouth almost moved into a smile.

  When the gate closed, Nelly blew out her lips in a long sigh. She pulled at her top set of teeth and put them on the table. She hoped she was right as well.

  Chapter 41: Ellen & Ted Booth

  Ashford, evening: Sunday, September 28th

  ‘Our William’s moved out…’ Ted was hosing down the yard and sweeping the water out into the alleyway when Ellen arrived home.

  ‘What?’ She barely took in what he’d said. Calling on Nelly Shuttleworth was a big mistake; it was as if the woman had been judging her for some reason. And the old bat definitely knew more than she let on. Ellen bit the skin at the side of her thumbnail. She’d learned nothing and, from the look of things, Nelly Shuttleworth wouldn’t do anything either. Hell’s bells, George Shuttleworth – Worth, whatever he was calling himself these days – was her son, after all. It was up to her to tell him that it wasn’t their fault their nephew was seeing his stepdaughter. They hadn’t encouraged him.

  If anything happened to Linda again she didn’t know what she would do. It didn’t matter what Ted said about Shuttleworth not wanting to raise his head above the parapet, not wanting to get noticed by the police, he was a nasty piece of work. If he intended to harm them in some way, he would. No police threat would put him off. She was scared.

  Ted straightened up, leaned on the brush. He was staring at her, as though waiting for a response.

  She noticed her husband fingering the faint scar on his cheek, the constant token of his time as a prisoner of war. And an uncomfortable reminder that she’d learned to love him once – was still quite fond of him sometimes, before too many memories crowded in. Her throat constricted with wretchedness, despising him for his weakness: despising herself because she knew she needed him, would never leave this bloody place.

  She frowned, taking off her jacket and folding it over her arm. ‘What did you say?’

  ‘William’s moved out. He’s left home.’

  ‘What do you mean, he’s left home?’ Her voice shrilled. She knew she’d lost Linda years ago because of the drinking, but her son had never judged her. Now he had gone? ‘Why?’

  Ted sighed. She had that hard look on her face, her mouth tight into a line, her eyebrows drawn together in a peevish frown. For the first time he saw how bitter she looked. ‘He’s gone to live with that girlfriend of his. The one he’s been seeing for
the last year.’ And good luck to him, Ted thought, he’s better off out of here.

  ‘The one we’ve never seen, you mean.’ Ellen stood rigid in the doorway, poised to attack.

  ‘Aye, well, perhaps there’s a reason for that.’ Ted was weary. Too much was happening lately. On top of trying to keep Ellen off the booze all the time, this business with George Shuttleworth was tiring him out. The last thing he was wanting was a row.

  ‘Which is?’

  ‘She’s married.’

  ‘Oh, my God.’ She’d turned away to go into the kitchen but stopped when he spoke again. The tension in her chest only allowed short abrupt intakes of breath,

  ‘And with a kiddie.’ Ted watched her warily. ‘Separated, he says, though.’

  She didn’t move. Still with her back to him she said in a taut voice ‘And has he told you where he’s gone? Like his address?’

  ‘No, I didn’t think to ask. He said he’d come round in a couple of days and have a chat with you.’

  Air rushed into Ellen’s lungs with a huge inhalation. ‘So he could have gone to Timbuctoo for all you know. For God’s sake, Ted, you’re useless.’ She threw her hands into the air. ‘How much more can I take from this family?’

  She crashed the door closed behind her.

  Ted shut the yard gate and carried on sweeping what was left of the dirty water into the grid in the middle of the yard. She’d come round; she always did. But no doubt he’d be on the sharp end of her tongue for a few days. And no doubt she’d be down to the offy to get some booze and he’d be eating the corn beef and potato hash he’d gone to all that trouble to make, on his own. Ted folded his hands on the brush and rested his chin on top. Good job Linda’s away to Mary’s, he thought. He wondered if she and Richard had got to Llamroth yet. And how soon she’d tell Mary about George Shuttleworth.

  Chapter 42: Linda Booth & Mary Schormann

  Llamroth: Sunday, September 28th

  ‘It’s so lovely to see you again, Linda.’ Mary hugged her niece as she stepped from the train. ‘Richard, sweetheart.’ She faced him, touching his cheek. ‘You all right?’